Shattered
by potterfan36041
Summary: Kimberly Oliver died a year ago and now Tommy Oliver feels like he is haunted, constantly and one day it stops. Will he ever be able to bring his shattered life back into focus?
1. Chapter 1

Kim looked around the bedroom one last time. She had shared this room with her husband for so many years and yet now they were separated from each other. She hadn't meant for it to turn out this way but it had. For the last year she had watched over him in silence, unable to uproot herself from the spot she had last seen him before everything faded. She honestly didn't know how he stayed here, she wouldn't have been able to if the same thing had happened to him.

Tommy walked into the room and looked over at her, she knew he couldn't see her, but he could feel her presence, he always did. She walked over to him and stared up at his eyes. He always looked tired, always looked as if he was not going to be able to make it, but somehow he did. Somehow he kept plodding on, he kept the family together, no matter what happened.

"I miss you," Tommy muttered as he looked at the family photo he kept on the dresser. Tyler was three years old and Adam was two at the time. They had somehow managed to get the boys to sit in their laps and actually look at the camera. The two of them weren't looking at the camera, but the love for their children, shown through. "God, I miss you."

She was no comfort to him now but he still seemed to seek her out, to try to find her. They both knew it was useless, but he still hoped, she could sense it with every fiber in her being. It was something that she couldn't believe still existed within him. He wanted to bring her back, anyway that he could, he would bring her back .

"I'm so lost without you Kimberly, and the boys…they need a mother, I'm no good with scrapes and cuts and comfort. Would you be mad if I tried dating again? Probably, that's why I can't. I can't have you mad at me now," Tommy whispered as he quickly wiped his eyes and then reached over for another shirt.

_"Tommy, please," Kim whispered as her hand brushed against his arm and he looked back at her. He knew that touch, it didn't matter that she was only a figment of his imagination now_.

"Could you watch me make love to someone else? I know you won't leave me, not until I die, you can't…we were supposed to go together. You were never supposed to go first," Tommy whispered as she merely placed her hands over her face. She felt horrible that he was suffering like this, he was suffering because of her death.

_"You have to move on," Kim whispered as he spun around and glared at the air behind him. Of course she would say something like that to him. _

"Move on! I can't even look at another woman without…she'll never be you," Tommy whispered as he reached out towards her and then quickly took his hand back. It wasn't like she could feel him anymore.

"_But you wanted me gone," Kimberly muttered as she watched his anger shift into despair._

"I was mad…I never meant…" Tommy began as he just looked away. "What's the use arguing with you?"

"_The last thing you told me was that you hated me," Kim whispered as the tears rolled down her cheeks and she watched Tommy gasp to draw breath._

"I never meant it, I never meant for those to be the last words you ever heard from me," Tommy forced out as the tears rolled down his cheeks and he then walked over to turn off the light. He had faced enough dread today.


	2. Chapter 2

Another Friday passed and he went to grab flowers to take to her grave. He hated himself for not letting her move on, but he still needed her, even if she hated him, he now knew that he'd never get over her. Talking to her ghost was the only thing that got him through the day, the only thing that made him feel as if he was at home. The house that he lived in was not his home anymore, but her presence made it bearable.

"Sir?" Amber questioned as he walked past the funeral home doors and he drew up short. This entire year, no one had stopped him from doing this, now they were going to stop him for some construction reason.

"Yes," Tommy said, patiently, as he moved the flowers from one hand to another, trying to pull himself together.

"I'm sorry, but the cemetery is not open at the moment," Amber said as Tommy squinted at her. He was absolutely furious that they weren't letting him in, but he couldn't do anything about it, even though he wanted to.

"Not open?" Tommy asked, carefully. He felt like he wanted to rip the girl's throat out, but she didn't know the truth, she didn't know how things were with him.

"They are doing an investigation into tomb looting," Amber said as Tommy closed his eyes. He did not want to hear something like that, it would mean weeks of not seeing her.

"Can I see my wife?" Tommy forced out. He could not face not being able to see her, especially after this week. The guilt had become something that he was not able to bear. It was something that could tear him apart if he did not deal with it now.

"Sir…" Amber began as she saw the director come up out of the corner of her eye. Why was it that she could sense that her boss was about to break the rules?

"Can I see my wife?" Tommy repeated as the woman just looked at him. Why in the world was he so insistent?

"Escort him Amber, this is the only time he has a sitter that can stay late," Evan whispered as Amber just stared at him. Why was he so willing to break the rules for this man?

"But they said…" Amber began as Evan glared at her.

"He's an exception," Evan stated evenly as Tommy gave him a small smile. He had known the man for years, it was just sad that he had to see them like this.

"Why?" Amber asked as Tommy just nodded to Evan that he'd be waiting outside. He didn't want to hear whatever it was that Evan was going to say next. He knew that Evan was very likely to explain it all and he didn't want to hear it, ever.

"She died outside their home, fell down the steps while going out to sit by the pool, never had a chance according to the doctor," Evan said as Amber just closed her eyes. She had never expected to hear that.

"So he gets to skirt around the law?" Amber asked as Evan just sighed. She was hoping to make him relatable and it just wasn't working.

"You're new, you'll understand it all too soon," Evan said as Amber just closed her eyes.

"Fine, but only this once," Amber said as Evan just smiled. He knew that Amber would learn all the rules around here, eventually. "Come on sir, let's get this over with."

"Never lost someone you love, have you?" Tommy asked bluntly as Amber just looked over at him. She had no clue how he could ask her something like that with a straight face.

"That's why I left my last job," Amber whispered as Tommy grimaced. Now he felt like a complete ass for what she was doing.

"Sorry," Tommy muttered as he looked away from her.

"Don't be, I wish I would have gone with him," Amber muttered as she looked out at the graves. Her husband had been buried here, it was part of the reason that she took the job.

"Husband?" Tommy asked as Amber just stared at him. She really didn't want to admit it.

"Yeah, he died, in an accident on the way to our honeymoon," Amber whispered as Tommy just stared over at her. He could not believe that that had happened to her, no one should ever have that happen to them.

"It's never the same," Tommy whispered as Amber looked over at him and smiled. Finally, she had met someone who understood what this was like, even if he was nothing like the person she thought she'd meet.

"How do you do it?" Amber asked as he walked up to the gravestone and let out a sigh.

"The kids, they're all I have left of us. If it wasn't for them…" Tommy trailed off as Amber just shook her head. It would have been a shame for him to leave just to follow her.

"I'll be over there," Amber said as he nodded and she then walked away towards her husband's tombstone.

"Thanks," Tommy said as he let out a sigh. She was a pretty girl, the first woman he had thought of as pretty since his wife had died.

_"Don't even think about it mister, she's not your type," Kim whispered in his ear as he jerked around to look at her. Amber was a pretty woman, with her long black hair and extremely pale skin, but she saw things that Tommy couldn't sense. She knew that it would end in utter disaster and she didn't want to see him hurt. _

"Thanks, telling me to move on earlier this week and now…" Tommy trailed off as he just shook his head. He could not believe that she was now judging the people that he might see as potential candidates.

_ "Not her," Kim said, sternly, as Tommy just shook his head. He did not want to deal with this. _

"I just want you to forgive me, to love me again, to come back to me," Tommy whispered as he wiped his eyes. God, he wished that he could have her back, if only for one day, to tell her that he was sorry, that he never meant any of it.

_"I can't…" Kim started as a lightning bolt zoomed down and rammed into Amber, her spirit crept out and she smiled at the man waiting for her. _

_ "You can go back, it's my time to go," Amber said as she walked over to the ghostly part of Kimberly and just smiled. "You really are a beautiful woman."_

_ "But…" Kim began as Amber reached out and grabbed her hand. _

_ "He loves you and my love is here, you can go back to him," Amber said as she lead Kimberly over to her body and Kim sighed. _

_ "Okay," Kim said as she leaned down and then she laid down into the body and the world was brought back into color. _

"Amber, are you okay?" Evan asked he shook her shoulder and her eyes blearily opened.

"Tommy…" Kim breathed as the man turned to face her and the cemetery director looked over at him.

"I never told her my name," Tommy whispered as he leaned down over the woman and gently grabbed her arm. Something had changed, because he could swear that it was like touching his wife again.

* * *

Kim awoke groggily in a hospital bed and she stared around. She had no clue how she had gotten here, but here she was. As she lay there the thought suddenly occurred to her that she was in a body, not her own, but a body none the less.

"Tommy…" Kim muttered as she felt a hand grip hers and she looked over to see a man sitting beside her. It was not her husband and she had no clue who he was.

"God Amber, who's Tommy? You don't want to ask for your boyfriend?" Jacob said as he smiled down at her and she managed to force a smile. She had no clue how she was going to do this, how she was going to prove to her own husband that she had come back in another body.

"Who are you?" Kim asked as she stared up at the man and she saw him cringe. Obviously he was important to you.

"I've known you since you were five, Amber and I should have known when you didn't hit me for saying you were my girlfriend that you were having problems. I'm Jake," Jacob said as he watched her sigh in relief. "You really thought I was your boyfriend, didn't you?"

"I did, I don't remember much right now," Kim lied as she watched him nod.

"Well, I'm all you have left now, so we're going to have to work on that. The doctor said you might have this problem," Jacob said as he ran his hand up her arm and smiled at her. "God I wish that Garrett was still alive."

"So do I," Kim whispered, feeling that she had just found out her former husband's name.

"He'd know what to do," Jacob whispered as Kim's eyes slid closed and he gave her hand a squeeze. It was going to be hard to bring her back, but he would or he'd at least stay by her side and help her build new memories.

* * *

"It's time to go to bed," Tommy said as Ty and Adam just stared at him. The both of them could tell that something was not sitting well with their father, but didn't know how to ask him about it.

"Daddy, where's Mama?" Tyler asked as Tommy closed his eyes. This was getting harder every day, but he knew that the kids would eventually adjust to everything that had happened, maybe he could move on then.

"You know that she's in heaven," Tommy said, calmly, as Tyler just shook his head.

"She's always here when you tuck me in," Tyler said as Tommy just took in a deep breath. He had had a feeling that the kids felt Kim's presence, but now he knew that they did.

"Tyler…" Tommy began as he pulled the covers up over the boy.

"She is and you know it! Why did Mama leave?" Tyler asked as Tommy placed both his arms around his son and tried to keep from crying. They didn't need to see him like this.

"I don't know," Tommy whispered as he continued to linger in the hug before leaving the room. He had noticed the absence as well, but he tried not to dwell on it, maybe she had moved on. He knew that wasn't the case, a snow ball in hell had a better chance than Kim leaving him. It had all started the day that poor girl was electrocuted. She hadn't been with him since.

* * *

_The dark completely surrounded her as she gasped for breath; surely Tommy was not so mad at her that he hadn't heard her tumble. She felt the blood seeping out around her and desperately tried to pull herself up the stairs. The last thing she saw was the light in their bedroom turn off before she slipped off into the abyss.

* * *

_

"Hi Jase," Kim said as she watched his eyes widen. That voice sounded so familiar. "It's me, Kimberly."


	3. Chapter 3

Hello, everyone! I know that I have not updated over the last few weeks and the reason why is my old computer died. I've got a lot of work left ahead of me, but I'm going to try to have my document back up and running by the end of Febuary. Hope you all understand.


	4. Chapter 4

Tommy lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, his wife had truly left him today. He didn't want to face it, but it was the truth. She must have gotten tired of him and all of the games that he played. He'd go from angry to upset in moments, but that wasn't why she left. He knew that, she'd left because she had truly given up hope, in a way that he had never seen before. They had always trusted their over to get them through everything, but she obviously thought this couldn't be done. Three was not a day that went by that he didn't wish it back, but it would never change, now that she was gone. He couldn't even try to make it right with her. He wished that he could put himself out of his misery, but he couldn't do that, the kids needed him. Adam and Tyler knew when he had had a bad day, but they weren't Kim, they couldn't look after him in the same way that she had. It was why he missed her the most.

"If only you would come back to me," Tommy whispered as he rolled over in the dark and buried his face against the pillow. The only thing that he could hope was that this had been a terrible dream and it would all be over when he woke up.

* * *

Kim sat on the floor and attempted to stretch out her legs. Amber might have had a beautiful body, but she didn't seem to do much with it. Her muscle memory could do a back handspring, but Amber's muscles most likely would fail her. She needed to get back to what she loved if she could.

"What are you doing?" Jake asked as he walked into the living room and found her sitting on the floor, trying to touch her toes. It seemed like that was not going to happen.

"Stretching, my muscles feel a bit tight," Kim responded as she sat up and realized that she had probably done all the work that she could.

"Did that lightning bolt happen to switch your soul? I've never seen you do anything like this before," Jake said as he sat down on the couch and she looked up at him. She could understand why this man was one of Amber's friends, he was a great guy, but she didn't even know where to begin with the things that Amber would do or not do.

"I'm turning over a new leaf," Kim explained, hoping that he would not question her too harshly. She wasn't exactly sure how she was going to explain everything to him in the end.

"No, you're turning over the entire tree and shaking it to get the leaves to fall off that are old," Jake said as she cringed. Obviously Amber was not the kind to do any major renovations to her life, even if she had just survived a near death experience. Had she done that before?

"It just feels right Jake, can't you understand that?" Kim asked as she saw the clouds come over his eyes. He didn't like it, but he was going to try to understand it, that was a start, not a big start, but a start.

"I can, but this just isn't the you that I've known for the last twenty years," Jake said as he reached down for her hand and gently took it in his. How was he going to tell her everything that he had the day before she had been struck by lightning? How as he going to put himself through that again?

"Things change Jake, you should know that by now," Kim muttered as she looked down at their hands. She felt like this man cared so much for Amber, more than just a friend would, but she couldn't lead him on. She had come back for one man and she had a feeling that if she didn't go after him, then she was going to go back.

"Do you even remember what you were like before?" Jake asked and she took a moment to think. She had to figure out what to say, the question was going to be asked a lot.

"No, I really don't," Kim said and the dishonesty washed over to her. She was going to have to lie to everyone, for the rest of her life. She was bound to meet someone, one day that had known her before, someone that she knew very well.

"So you don't remember what we talked about, the day before you were struck by lightning?" Jake asked and she could see that he really wanted her to remember it, but she couldn't, there was no way.

"I don't know if I ever will, I don't remember most of my life, I'm going to have to start from scratch," Kim said and he pulled his hand away. Obviously he didn't like the idea of having to re-explain almost every thing to her.

"Amber, you don't remember?" Jake asked again and she held in a sigh. That would only make him mad if she showed how much it was frustrating her.

"Was it important?" Kim asked, hoping that by his answer she would be able to figure out what could be done about it. If it was not extremely important, then maybe he would not care that she had forgotten or in her case, never even known the information.

"Not really, I have to go, you have therapy tomorrow, you might want to get some sleep," Jake stated as Kim just nodded. He didn't know that the therapy was not going to matter at all.

"Don't worry about me Jake, the memories will come back when they are ready to," Kim said as she watched the frustration re-emerge on his face. This was not good.

"Just promise me that you won't do anything rash until they come back," Jake said and the guilt spread over her face. How could she get back memories that she had never had?

"Like what?" Kim asked and he just shook his head.

"Quitting your job, taking up a crazy hobby, anything like that," Jake explained and he watched as her eyes drifted away from him and he knew then that he had lost her. He would never have the woman come back that he had known for all those years.

"I already quit my job," Kim whispered and he turned and walked away. She had never wanted him to abandon her, especially since he was the only one to know anything about her past.

"Bitch," Jake muttered as he walked out the front door and Kimberly just covered her face. This was not the way that she had imagined things happening when she came back, this was not the way she imagined it at all.

AN: Not sure how the formatting is on this one...but I am back online! Things should be coming up slowly but surely over the next month or so...just so you know to expect some delays.


	5. Chapter 5

Tommy woke up at six am and groaned. He had gotten roughly two hours of sleep last night and those two hours had haunted him. Kim continued to haunt him in his dreams, but she no longer did in real life. He really missed her. School was going to be hell, but it was Friday. He could make it through anything on a Friday.

* * *

Kim sat with a cup of hot tea and the newspaper. She knew the job that she needed to get, but she was not quite ready for it. Working at the dojo would be nearly impossible since Amber couldn't so much as do a simple split. She'd have to relearn all of the skills and get Tommy to fall in love with her again. She didn't know how she'd manage it.

She stared at the paper as she looked at the add and she felt her heart leap. She could not believe that Tommy was doing this, but she'd take advantage of it. It might be her only chance to get close to her children.

"Oliver residence," Tommy said as he picked up the phone and continued packing the kids lunch for day care.

"Is this Dr. Oliver?" Kim asked as she fidgeted on the other end of the phone. She could hear the stress in Tommy's voice and she knew that he was beginning to unravel.

"Yes," Tommy answered as he quickly grabbed a knife from Adam and shook his head no.

"I'm calling reply to the ad you placed in the paper for a sitter for your sons," Kim said calmly as she head him let out a sigh. Obviously he had had too many of these calls already and he was at the end of his rope.

"Yes ma'am. Do you have any experience?" Tommy asked as he turned around and looked at the boys. The both of them were not very happy with him.

"I do, but it has been awhile. I only recently felt the calling to do this again," Kim said as she heard Tommy smile on the other side of the phone. He was sure that this was another phony call.

"You do understand that you will be responsible for meals, as well as watching the kids all day," Tommy stated as he grabbed Adam by his shoulder and then wiped the boys mouth.

"Dr. Oliver, I assure you, I am more than competent enough to do that," Kim said as she tried to keep her voice even. She did not want to give anything away if she could help it.

"Well, when can you come in for an interview?" Tommy asked as she looked around the house. Since she had quit her job she had been going a little stir crazy between the memory lessons and everything else.

"This evening," Kim said as she could almost sense the shock in Tommy's voice in the next few moments.

"That sounds good, Miss..." Tommy trailed off as he realized that he did not know her name. That she had not even provided that information.

"Amber Corley," Kim provided as she just shook her head. This was not one of the things that she was ever going to get used to.

"Okay Amber, now my sons do have allergies, so for supper you'll have to make sure there's no peanuts or cheese," Tommy said as Kim just nodded. She also knew to stay away from a lot of other things if she could help it.

"All right, what time should I arrive?" Kim asked as she thought about it and she bet that it would be around five or later.

"Five should be fine," Tommy said as she smiled. He was very predictable, even if he did not know that.

"Thank you Doctor Oliver, I will be there," Kim said as Tommy smiled. This one sounded like she actually might have some potential, although that didn't matter to most people.  
Tommy then gently placed the phone on the cradle and let out a sigh. The woman's voice sounded familiar, but he could not place it. He hoped that this would really help him, but he didn't know what the truth would be.

* * *

Kim stared into Amber's closet and let out a disgruntled groan. The woman did not have a sense of style about her clothing. She the reached into the back of the closet and pulled out a silk blouse and tweed pants and smiled. Maybe Amber just didn't have a reason to dress up anymore.

She took a look at the heels and then searched for flats. Amber was at least 5'6", making Tommy only a few inches taller than her. She loved heels when she was 5', but now, she wanted to still be smaller than him, in some way. Taking a deep breath she pulled on the clothes and she smiled. She now knew why her husband had loved her.


	6. Chapter 6

Flashback

_"What do you mean it was an accident?" Tommy yelled as he stared at her from across the room. He couldn't trust himself to be closer to her than across the room, otherwise he might do something that he would regret. He loved her, but he needed to think this through.  
_

_"It happened a long time ago, before we were married," Kim explained as she backed away from him and tried to keep herself from crying. She could not let him know how much this was tearing her apart, she would not get any pity from Tommy.  
_

_"You never told me?" Tommy asked as Kim shrunk away from him._

_"Because I knew how you were going to react to this," Kim said as she looked up at him and hoped to see something besides hate in his eyes._

_"Leave," Tommy insisted as she just shook her head at him. This could not be happening._

_"Tommy..." Kim began but she knew that he was not going to move on this. That she was better off just to go._

_"Just leave," Tommy stated and she hung her head. She was not going to be able to convince him otherwise._

_"I'm sorry," Kim whispered as she slipped out onto the deck and started down the stairs._

_"I hate you," Tommy muttered as he turned back to the face the room and just stood there in shock. Kim couldn't have done this, not to him.

* * *

_

Kim stood at the door and tried to reel in her emotions. She'd get to see her boys today, the boys that she had given birth to several years ago. Tommy might not see her, but they would, she had no doubt about that. She gently rapped on the door and held her breath. Hopefully Tommy would feel something when he saw her.

"Ms. Corley?" Tommy asked as he opened the door and she looked over at him.

"You must be Dr. Oliver," Kim said as she saw the recognition in his eyes. At least he knew that he had met this woman before.

"How are you?" Tommy asked as she mustered a confused look. She was going to have to feign ignorance for a long time.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Kim asked as he just stared at her. He had honestly thought that she was going to die.

"You should, you walked me to my wife's grave that night, when you were struck by lightning," Tommy explained as she just looked at him and tried to make it click.

"That was you? I'm sorry my details from that day are pretty fuzzy, actually most of my memory is fuzzy," Kim commented as she ran her fingers through her hair and tried to stop herself from fidgeting.

"Amnesia?" Tommy asked as he stepped out of the doorway and allowed her to walk in beside him.

"They think so, I'm just trying to start over," Kim said as she clutched her hands in front of her and she saw Tommy smile at her out of the corner of her eye.

"Come on in to the living room, we need to discuss somethings," Tommy said as she walked beside him and he noticed how easily she fell into step with him.

"Groceries, sorry I need to grab those," Kim said as she turned around and he turned to follow her.

"I'll help," Tommy said as she looked over at him and they locked eyes. That was when she knew that he did not recognize her as his wife, he was just being polite.

"You don't have to," Kim said as he just gave her a look and she knew that she shouldn't argue with him.

"I will, Tyler and Adam are in the play room right now," Tommy said as Kim just nodded. That was the only place that he would leave the boys alone.

"Okay," Kim muttered as she opened the car door and he stepped up behind her. For the first night in almost a year she felt his body stiffen and forced herself to hide a smile, he felt it. Even if it was just some crazy short of attraction to a stranger in his mind, she knew in his moment that he felt the real her.

Tommy shook his head, trying to force out the image of this woman in his bed from his mind. He felt Kimberly, not this woman, he felt that his wife had come back to him, but there was no way that that had happened.

"Dr. Oliver..." Kim muttered as she turned around to face Tommy and watched as his eyes quickly shifted up to her face.

"Call me Tommy, please," Tommy said as he took the bags from her and she walked next to him.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked as she noticed the shadow that had fallen over his face.

"I'm fine, you just remind me of someone," Tommy whispered as he forced himself to look away from her.

"Good or bad memory?" Kim asked. She knew that if she could just keep him talking that he might eventually open up, about something.

"Good, come on, the kids want to meet you," Tommy said as she just nodded and then followed him back inside.

"You are far too nice," Kim muttered as he just shook his head

"I don't think so, after you've been here for awhile you will know all of my faults Ms. Corley," Tommy said as she just shook her head.

"I'm not old enough to be a Miss," Kim stated as Tommy just looked at her. He had just broken the cardinal rule of dealing with women. Never mention age, no matter what.

"You are all of twenty five, aren't you?" Tommy asked as Kim chuckled. This was going to be fun.

"I'm shocked, I happen to be twenty four," Kim said as he looked away from her.

"Sorry," Tommy said as he just stood there.

"It's okay, it seems like you are out of practice in that area," Kim said as she smiled over at him.

"It happens when you're married for six years," Tommy said as she just nodded.

"I gues it would," Kim said as she just shook her head.

"Tyler, Adam, come out here for a minute," Tommy yelled down the hall and the boys ran out into the kitchen and Kim took in a shaky breath. They had changed so much in the last year. She placed a smile on her face and watched as Adam bolted for her.

"Mama, you're back," Adam said as he wrapped his arms around her legs and she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Adam, this is Amber. She's not your mother," Tommy said as Kim looked down at the boy and the squatted down and wrapped her arms around him.

"It's Mama," Adam insisted as the boy looked up at his father with all the defiance that he could muster.

"Tommy, it's okay," Kim said as she just held the boy and he clung to her.

"But..." Tommy began as Kim looked up at him. He did not need to shoot the boy down.

"Adam, want to help me fix supper?" Kim asked as she saw his face light up.

"Yeah," Adam said as Tyler stood next to Tommy. She was not surprised by that, Adam had always been the one with the better imagination.

"I'll look after him," Kim said as Tommy just gave him a look.

"You sure?" Tommy asked as Kim stood and looked over at him.

"Of course, go play with Tyler," Kim said as she watched Tommy and Tyler leave and she heard the boy let out a long laugh.

"You are Mama, right?" Adam asked as Kim just nodded.

"Yeah, but that's out secret. I'm Amber to Daddy," Kim said as Adam just nodded.

"Why?" Adam asked as she just sighed.

"Because he's not ready yet, okay?" Kim asked as the boy just nodded and she let out a sigh of relief. At least one of her children knew who she was.

AN: Here we go again! I'm hoping to get back into my routing of posting a chapter a week, but we'll see how that goes. I'm still working out the kinks with my new computer so please be patient.


	7. Chapter 7

Tommy and Kim sat in the living room on the opposite ends of the couch. The boys had gone to bed a couple hours ago, but Tommy couldn't bring himself to just talk to her. The woman seemed to know things about him that only his wife had known and he was trying to figure out why that would be.

"Did you know my wife before she died?" Tommy asked as she looked over at him and thought about that. She couldn't tell him the truth now, he was no where near ready. She was just going to have to settle for some version of the truth.

"To be honest, I'm not sure who I knew before a couple of weeks ago," Kim said as he nodded.

"I was just wondering. Now, will you tell me the truth. Do you want this job?" Tommy asked as she smiled. He had no idea how happy this job would make her.

"I do, Dr. Oliver, kids should never have to grow up without a female influence," Kim said as he nodded.

"Personal experience?" Tommy asked as she just nodded. Hopefully she would be able to get all the details correct.

"My parents died when I was fifteen," Kim said as she looked over at him and he saw the sadness settle over her.

"I'm sorry," Tommy muttered, although that didn't sound like it would be enough to make things better.

"Don't be, I grew up because of it. I met my husband and fell in love with him because he still cared about me after that," Kim whispered as he just nodded.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" Tommy asked as she looked up at him and he realized that she couldn't lie to him about this.

"No, but it gets better with time," Kim said as he just nodded.

"I need to get you a key and some other things for you. Adam has karate on Tuesday and Thursday, I just need you to get him to the lessons, I'll bring him back. Tyler has guitar on Monday, I'll need you to drop him off and pick him up from that. I expect you to cook a meal every night, but Friday and take them to the doctor if necessary. Saturday and Sunday are yours. Your pay starts at $1600 a month, if you do well it will go up some every six months. You have the choice to live in or stay at your own place," Tommy said as she just nodded.

"Living in will probably be better, my house is up for sale anyway. I can't afford the house without Garrett anyway," Kim muttered as Tommy just nodded. He understood, things had gotten much harder for him without Kimberly.

"Okay, your room is down here, let me show you," Tommy said as he lead her into the back of the house, to the room level with the pool and her heart dropped. She couldn't live here.

"Tommy..." Kim began as she stared out the window at the spot where she had fallen and died. The memories ran through her body and she felt the pain course through her again.

"Yes?" Tommy said as he looked over at her and saw her staring out at the pool.

"Is there any other room?" Kim asked as he walked over to her and just stared at the spot that she was looking at.

"Not really," Tommy stated as she just nodded.

"Okay..." Kim said as she walked over to the door and opened it. Tommy had done a good job of scraping up the blood, but she could still feel it as it drenched her body.

"Don't like water?" Tommy asked as he saw the true fear in her eyes and he tried to think of how to comfort her, but he didn't remember how.

"It's not that, just a bad memory," Kim whispered as she closed the door and took a step back towards him. "I need to get going, I have to start packing."

"Amber..." Tommy started as she looked back over at him.

"I'll see you over the weekend," Kim stated as he nodded and she continued out of the room. There was something about her that made him feel again, something about her that screamed that he should pay attention.

* * *

Kim drove down the drive way far enough sot that Tommy couldn't see her break lights. She then stopped the car and sobbed, she couldn't imagine living there but she had to especially if this was going to work out. She had to be close to them.

She desperately tried to not go back to that night, but she couldn't stay in the present she had to see it again.

_She ran down the stairs and then went out onto the deck. She had to get away from him before he decided she could never come back. As she hit the fourth step, she slipped and tumbled down the stairs. The music came on in Tommy's office and she tried to yell, but nothing would come.  
_

* * *

"Kim!" Tommy yelled as he jerked awake and felt his sheets plaster to his body. He had seen her cold, dead body again, only this time she talked back. She had told him that she was alive.

AN: Okay, I feel like I need to make up for the weeks of not publishing. So, you're getting a two for one deal this week. Enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

Kim slowly sat the last box down and looked around the room. Tommy had taken the time to add on this space after Adam was born, due to the fact that they both had jobs to maintain and were going to get someone to help them out. Now she was living in that space and she found it hard to believe.

She took a deep breath and then walked into the bathroom to begin unpacking. At the very least she'd need this stuff tonight and tomorrow, she'd have to shower sometime. The pain went through her as she realized that Tommy hadn't even said hi to her today. He had only shown her the house and left her, of course she shouldn't have expected him to act overly friendly. She was only his babysitter.

She took that night to unpack and fell into bed at around midnight. Tomorrow- she would have a chance to prove herself, tomorrow she would be more than a babysitter.

* * *

Kim sat down in the park and watched as Adam and Tyler ran around the playground. The both of them were so much smarter than Tommy ever gave them credit for. They had gone through all their work by ten and then they had napped while she cleaned. Now she was trying to catch up on missed time.

"Mama!" Adam yelled as he ran over to her and she squatted down to his level.

"It's Amber for now Adam," Kim whispered as the boy just looked at her.

"But..." Adam started as she just shook her head and he quieted down.

"No buts, you can't until Daddy knows," Kim said as Adam just nodded.

"Okay, Daddy's here," Adam said as Kim gave him an odd look. Tommy had no reason to be at the park, his work hardly ever brought him here.

"Tommy?" Kim asked as the boy just nodded.

"Yes Daddy," Adam said as Kim stood up and the both of them started walking back over to the sand box.

"What's he doing here?" Kim asked as Adam just shook his head.

"Digging," Adam stated as Kim nodded. Of course that would be the only reason that he was at the park was so that he could dig.

"Come on, let's go play with Tyler," Kim said as Adam gave her a look. He had been enjoying the time alone with her.

"Why?" Adam inquired as Kim sighed.

"Because your father won't be happy with me if he's farther than ten feet away," Kim said as Adam just shook his head.

"Amber!" Tyler yelled as he looked up at her and she smiled.

"What is it Ty?" Kim yelled back as she got closer to him.

"Look what I found!" Tyler yelled as he held up some sort of object. She couldn't tell what it was from where she was.

"Come here, let me see it," Kim said as he ran up with an arrowhead in his hands and he handed it over to her.

"I think your father would like to see this very much," Kim said as the boys ran ahead of her back to the sandbox and she followed them at a slower pace.

"Daddy!" Adam yelled as he looked up and saw Tommy there.

"Hey Adam, what are you doing here?" Tommy asked as he squatted down next to the boy and he saw the excitement in his eyes.

"Playing archeologist," Adam said as Tommy just nodded.

"With who?" Tommy asked as he looked around for an adult and completely skipped over Amber.

"Amber," Tyler supplied as Tommy looked up and saw her smiling at the three of them.

"Well, I will leave you to it then," Tommy said as he ruffled their hair and the boys smiled at him.

"Daddy when will you be home?" Adam asked as Tommy sighed. He had known that that question would come up eventually.

"Late," Tommy said as Kim gave him a harsh look. She wondered how often he got home late now. As a ghost she hadn't had any sense of time. Now she was going to have to work on getting her husband to be a father again.

"You'll tuck me in, right?" Adam asked as Tommy smiled and just shook his head.

"Of course, you guys enjoy playing," Tommy said as the boys nodded and went back to their playing.

"Bye!" the boys chorused as Kim had to look away from them for a moment to collect her thoughts.

"Amber?" Tyler asked as she walked over and squatted down next to him.

"Yeah?" Kim asked while she scooped up some sand into the bucket the boys had with them.

"Does Daddy know that you're Mom yet?" Tyler asked as she felt the tears begin to form and she took in a deep breath.

"No, not yet," Kim whispered as she gave him a kiss on the forehead and then went back to playing.

* * *

Tommy walked into the house that night and gently put his briefcase and keys on the table before pulling off his shoes and sitting them next to the door. He then walked into the kitchen and dug out a microwave dinner, when he opened the microwave he found a plate and gave it an odd look. Amber had left this for him, but why? He headed to his study and saw her daily progress report on his desk.

_Dr. Oliver,  
We finished their ABC's and such by ten and the boys took a nap as I cleaned the house. We went to the park at around one this afternoon and Tyler found an arrowhead he really wants to show you. Adam was a little grumpy when I put him down tonight and Tyler just passed out. They really want your to eat with them so I convinced them that you just eating the food would work, leftovers in the fridge.  
_

"But you put them in the microwave," Tommy said as he placed the piece of paper in her file and then let out a groan. Adam and Tyler were all he had left, but without Kim's income he had to put in extra hours at work. He couldn't remember the last time he was home before nine. Kim had never let him do this, she had put her foot down several times when it came to this matter, he didn't know what to do without her.

"Shit!" Kim muttered as she dropped her glass of milk and then placed her hand over her eyes. She didn't need this right now.

"You okay?" Tommy asked as he walked out of his study and saw her surrounded by broken glass. That, however, did not stop him from noticing her attire. He could swear that the night gown was nearly see through and from what he could see, he would definitely need a cold shower.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were in," Kim said as she folded her arms over her chest and just looked at the floor.

"Just stay still, I'll get the broom," Tommy said as she chanced a glance up at him and he smiled.

"Thank you," Kim said as she shook her head. Tommy was going to remember this.

* * *

Kim lay in bed and felt the chills rush through her body. The three blankets she had wrapped around her were doing nothing to ward off the chill and every bone in her body ached. She had the flu, there was no doubt about it.

"Amber?" Tyler questioned as he walked into her room.

"Go get your Dad please," Kim said as she shivered.

"Mama, you okay?" Tyler asked as Kim tried to keep from shaking too violently.

"No, get Daddy for me please," Kim said as Tyler just nodded and then walked back out of the room.

"He wants me to get you out of bed," Tyler said as Kim just nodded. She was going to kill Tommy when she had the energy.

"Tell him that I'm coming," Kim said as she forced herself to sit up and she quickly wrapped the blankets around her before she stumbled her way to the living room.

"Amber, you know that you're supposed to take care of their breakfast. Why were you still sleeping?" Tommy asked before he turned around and saw exactly how sick she looked.

"I think I have the flu," Kim explained as he saw her shake and he just hung his head. This was definitely not the right thing to say to her.

"I'm sorry, go back to bed, you need the day off more than I need to work," Tommy said as she just nodded.

"I'm sorry," Kim said as she felt herself collapse and the only feeling she knew after that was warmth, Tommy's warmth.

* * *

_Dr. Oliver,  
_

_The boys did very good today, the lessons went smoothly. Tomorrow I'd like to take them to the fair. How about surprising them? They miss you.  
_

He munched on his supper in silence and thought about the prospect of spending a day with his children. It would be nice, it would also be nice to actually talk to Amber. She had avoided him like the plague the last couple of weeks, ever since she had been sick. Something had happened that day to shut her away from him. He had actually started enjoying her company, even if she seemed to hold back from truly trusting him.

"I guess the fair will work," Tommy muttered as he just nodded to himself.

* * *

Tommy walked up to the fair grounds and smiled. He had not taken a day like this in a very long time, his family deserved that much of him. Kim would want him to be in their lives.  
He searched through the fair grounds, hoping to see a shock of black hair or hear the boys talking. After several minutes he finally spotted Amber and she was watching the boys as they spun around on one ride. He slowly headed towards her and at the last moment decided to surprise her and he quickly wrapped his arms around her.

"You think they'll be surprised?" Tommy asked as he settled his head on her shoulder and she looked back at him with a surprised look on her face.

"I do, I know I am," Kim said as she looked back at him and smiled.

"Why?" Tommy asked as she settled against him and he jokingly gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You haven't done much with them lately," Kim said as the boys ran over and the two of them straightened up. Tommy had no clue what had overcome him and he was not sure he wanted the children to ask him any questions.

"I'll try to work on that," Tommy said as he settled next to her and the boys ran over to him.

"Daddy! Why are you here?" Adam asked as Tommy smiled and looked down at the two of them.

"Miss Amber thought that I should come spend some time with you," Tommy said as he hoisted the boy up onto his shoulders and Tyler grabbed Kim's hand and looked between the two of them.

"Can we ride all the rides?" Tyler asked as Kim looked over at Tommy and he nodded that they could.

"Really?" Adam asked as she smiled up at the both of them.

"Yes, so we better get going," Tommy said as he lifted Adam off his shoulders and took his other hand in his.

"Thank you," Kim mouthed over to him and he barely nodded. Something had changed today, he just didn't know what it was. All he could hope was that she didn't hate him.


	9. Chapter 9

She looked around the house and sighed, she had sold everything that she didn't need and had grabbed the rest of her belongs that needed to find a place at Tommy's. She had felt something different the other day when she had been with Tommy, but how could she explain this? People did not just come back from the dead, that never happened. Only Jason knew she was alive and he was reluctant to believe it. Now she had to convince her own husband that it was true and hope that she had forgiven him for all that had happened.

"Can I help you with that?" Jake asked as she lugged a box outside.

"Last one, I'm signing the papers next week," Kim said as she put the box in the truck and closed the door.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jake asked as he just stared at her and she nodded. She had to do this, even if he didn't want her to do it. It was something that he would never understand.

"I need to get out of here Jake. I need to do new things," Kim stated as Jake nodded. He was done fighting her, he knew that it would do him no good.

"But moving in with this man to take care of his children..." Jake trailed off as Kim squared her shoulders to him and raised an eyebrow.

"No one should be like me Jake, no one, they deserve to have someone to help them. They deserve to have someone who cares," Kim said as Jake laughed.

"You're losing your mind," Jake stated as she closed her eyes. She had hoped that he would not say anything like that.

"Jake please, I don't want to lose your friendship but I have to do this," Kim said as the desperation in her voice became clear.

"Why?" Jake asked as he grabbed her by the shoulders and made her look at him.

"It feels right, I have no other explanation but that," Kim said as he just shook his head.

"You've never done anything because of how it feels, you are analytical," Jake said as she just shook her head. That was definitely not the case anymore.

"I was, I am no longer sure about anything. When I was struck by lightning everything changed. I don't know why but it did and I need you to accept that," Kim said as she placed her hands on his shoulders ans he just shook his head. He was not sure that he could do that.

"Amber..." Jake began as he broke away from her and she sighed.

"Don't Amber me, I may not have my memories, but I have my mind and heart. Jake, please understand this," Kim all but begged as he looked back at her and she knew that he was finally going to concede.

"I'll try," Jake said as Kim nodded. That was better than what she had expected.

"Thanks. Do you want to come meet Tommy?" Kim asked as Jake looked over at her. She had to be pulling his leg.

"No, I've got to get going. Ash and I have a date," Jake said as Kim just nodded. She watched as he turned to leave. Everything would work out if it was meant to.

* * *

"So, who is your new babysitter?" Zack asked as they were watching the game and Tommy just shook his head.

"Amber Corley," Tommy said as Jason choked on his water.

"Are you sure that's her name?" Jason asked as Tommy just nodded.

"Why do you ask?" Tommy asked as Jason wiped his mouth and tried to control himself. He could not believe what he was hearing.

"I think I met some girl with that name awhile ago," Jason said as Tommy just nodded his head.

"She's nice enough and the kids love her, so I can't complain too much she just..." Tommy trailed off as he took in a deep breath and thought about it. Did he really want to tell them what he felt for her?

"She what?" Jason asked as Tommy just sighed.

"She reminds me of someone, someone I lost," Tommy said as they all turned to face him.

"Don't think about Kimberly, all right?" Zack said as Tommy looked over at him.

"Why not? She was my wife for six years! I knew her for over ten, why can't I think about her?" Tommy yelled as he stood up and began pacing. They all knew that it was better for them to just be quiet.

"Tommy, it's just that every time that you do, you get depressed. Those kids need a father that is here for them," Jason said as Tommy just nodded. He had to admit that he had been neglecting them some.

"I am here Jason," Tommy stated and Jason just shook his head.

"No, you're not. You died with your wife," Jason stated as Tommy just shook his head.

"Bad timing?" Amber asked from the hallway as she peaked into the living room.

"No, do you need any help?" Tommy asked as she smiled over at him and just shook her head.

"No thanks, I should be able to get it," Kim said as she went and dropped the bags off in the kitchen and then headed back towards her car.

"I'm going to get some water," Jason said as he stood up and then looped around and followed Kim outside. "This is your grand plan?"

"What else was I supposed to do? Amber has a degree in mathematical analysis, do I look like I can do that?" Kim asked as she turned to face him and he just stared at her. Her hair was not nearly as dark as it had been a few weeks ago and he could tell that she was tired.

"I know you can't, but you're playing with fire," Jason said as he walked over to her and she looked down. They both felt guilty, but that changed nothing.

"I want him back and this is all I can do. She can't tumble or do karate. I did a cartwheel yesterday and pulled a muscle in my shoulder. What am I supposed to do?" Kim asked as he just stared.

"Learn to live in this body, don't be your old self," Jason said as Kim just sat there in shock.

"How do I do that again?" Kim asked as Jason sighed. This was going to take a lot of work.

"So, self defense class?" Jason asked as Kim just shook her head.

"I have a bad feeling about that," Kim whispered as he just looked at her.

"Don't worry, Tommy wouldn't let anything happen to you," Jason said as Kim just nodded.

"I hope you're right," Kim said as she picked up a few bags and he quickly went back inside.

* * *

"You could have socialized with us," Tommy said as Kim settled down on the couch next to him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"I don't want to intrude," Kim said as she looked up at him and he just smiled.

"I know, but they'll be around a lot, you might as well be friendly," Tommy said as she looked forward and he sighed. He didn't know how to be around her.

"I'll be friendly," Kim said to the wall as he just closed his eyes.

"You're not the one that I'm worried about," Tommy said as Kim looked back over at him. "I"m worried about all of them, they don't want to see me involved with anyone yet."

"And they think that we're involved with each other?" Kim asked as he just bit down on his bottom lip.

"It's a possibility," Tommy said as she looked up at him and he gulped. He hoped that she liked him or this was going to make work hard.

"You are an odd man. I never thought you'd label me as a possibility," Kim said as she looked up with him with a smile and he returned it.

"Well, I did just say that. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking," Tommy said as she reached over and cupped his cheek.

"Don't worry, I said stuff like that after Garrett died, before I started to move on," Kim whispered as he gently rubbed his face against her hand and closed his eyes.

"Have you dated anyone?" Tommy asked as he continued to enjoy the feel of her skin.

"I've gone on a few, but I haven't found someone yet," Kim said as her hands moved to the one spot that he had always loved to have caressed.

"When will I be ready?" Tommy asked as his eyes opened and he searched for the answer in here eyes.

"You might never be," Kim whispered as she removed her hand from his face and he sighed.

"I think I am," Tommy said and his voice gained some strength.

"Then you should," Kim said as she wrung her hands and tried to pull it all together.

"So..." Tommy muttered as she looked up at him. "Do you... do you think?"

"What Dr. Oliver?" Kim asked as he shuddered.

"Do you think we could go out, on just one date and it not affect you here?" Tommy asked as she smiled and just shook his head.

"And if we're happy at the end of the night?" Kim asked as Tommy gave her a smile.

"We'll take it one day at a time," Tommy whispered as she leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder.


	10. Chapter 10

Tommy lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. He had done this so often lately, trying to figure out where everything had gone wrong. Now, things were starting to go right again.

Amber had actually gone on a date with him and that...that was just the beginning. They'd been out almost every night since, even if out only consisted of going to Blockbuster and grabbing a movie and pizza. She understood him, the same way his wife had.

"Tommy!" Kim yelled as she tossed around in her sleep and then rolled out of the bed. She continued kicking in her sleep as the dread gripped her in terror. "Tommy!"

"Amber, wake up! Come on, wake up," Tommy said as he shook her shoulders and she continued to thrash around in her sleep. "Damn it, wake up!"

"Tommy!" Kim yelled as she jerked awake and fell into his arms. She struggled to catch her breath as the ache slowly subsided. She had never thought that she'd relive her death in dreams, but now she was doing that.

"You're okay, Amber, you're fine," Tommy whispered as he ran his fingers through her hair and felt the tangled, sweaty mess that it had become.

"Don't leave," Kim whispered as she clung to him and he held her tight. He remembered all too well the nightmares that his wife had had.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tommy whispered as she looked up at him and he saw the raw fear in her eyes.

"Not yet," Kim whispered as she settled back against him and he began rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her.

"Are you going to be okay?" Tommy asked as she continued to tremble.

"I'll be okay, just give me a few minutes," Kim said as her body slowly came into control.

"Amber what was it?" Tommy asked after she was breathing normally and had loosened her grip on his waist.

"My death, at least I think it was my death," Kim forced out as she felt his eyes settle on the side of her face and she continued to look forward.

"What happened?" Tommy forced out and she finally turned to face him.

"I was running down the stairs, it seemed like it had rained recently. I slipped and tumbled down the stairs, hitting my head on the edge of something. I don't know what else it could be," Kim said as she watched him carefully and she saw the well disguised horror that came onto his face.  
Tommy froze as she described the coroner's best guess at what had happened to his own wife. The tears were streaming down her face as he numbly clung to her shaken form. Her entire body was still shaking, but all he could mange was discovering his wife dead the morning after that fall, not the woman in his arms.

"It's okay, do you want to stay in my room tonight?" Tommy asked as she looked up at him and knew that she would love to stay with him, but she couldn't.

"No...the boys...we've got to be sure before they see us together like that," Kim said as he looked at her in shock.

"Amber..." Tommy started as she just shook her head.

"No, I don't want them to get their hopes up until we are ready," Kim said as he just shook his head.

"Okay, you know where to find me if you need me," Tommy said as he leaned down and gave her a kiss.

"Tommy..." Kim started as he helped her stand and got her back into bed.

"Yeah?" Tommy asked as he tucked her in and saw the sleep begin to over take her again.

"I'm sorry that's how I...she died," Kim said as he ran his fingers through her hair and she managed a smile.

"So am I," Tommy said and he walked over to the door and watched her until he was sure that she was sound asleep. He didn't want to be woken up again if he could help it.

* * *

Kim slowly crawled out of bed and walked into the bathroom. She had bruises every where from her dream, it had scared her that much. Feeling herself die again was a horrible feeling, she wouldn't wish it on anyone.

She had almost slipped last night, telling Tommy it was how she died, not his wife, but the woman standing in front of him. It was a very good thing that he was tired, so tired in fact that he missed it. It was becoming hard to on her, trying every day to hide herself and Tommy was still clueless. The kids, they knew, they wanted her to be their old mom.

"Amber! You running late?" Tommy asked as he walked into her room and tried to look around.

"Hmm?" Kim muttered as he walked into the bathroom and stopped in his tracks. She had stripped down to shower and he could not help but gulp.

"I'm sorry, the dream must have really messed me up."

"How much sleep did you get?" Tommy asked as he passed her a towel and she wrapped it around her.

"A couple hours, why?" Kim asked as he looked over at her and she gulped.

"Why don't you get some rest, I can take the kids today," Tommy said as she just shook her head.

"I live here for free, I'll do my job Tommy," Kim said as he walked over and pulled her into him.

"Amber, you look like crap, get some rest and I'll take the kids today," Tommy said as he pulled back so that he could look down at her.

"Are you sure?" Kim asked as he placed a kiss on her forehead and she knew then that he was not moving on this.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, just relieve me so that I can go teach at the dojo," Tommy said as Kim nodded.

"Okay," Kim said as he moved away from her and she immediately missed his warmth.

"And one quick thing, have your eyes been brown this entire time and I thought they were green?" Tommy asked as she turned to look at herself in the mirror and stood there in shock.

"No, colored contacts," Kim quickly lied as he just nodded.

"I don't want to see you before noon today," Tommy said as he closed the bathroom door and the both of them stood on the other side in shock. Had that really just happened?


	11. Chapter 11

Kim soaked in the bathroom for hours as she tried to relieve the pain in her body. Although her death had been a dream, she had bruises over various parts of her body, it was like it had happened to her again, but she had survived. This time Tommy had come to her.

She finally pulled herself out of the tub and then walked into her room . Kim had barely sat down on the bed when Tommy burst into her room.

"Hide and seek," Tommy explained as he dove down on the other side of the bed.

"Okay, I need to put on some clothes though," Kim said as he just shook his head.

"Don't worry, I'll be gone soon," Tommy said as he sat back up and then reached over to pull her down on the floor with him.

"Tommy..." Kim started as he silenced her with a quick kiss. "You still miss her don't you?"

"Yeah," Tommy whispered as she forced a smile.

"I, I don't know when you'll be ready," Kim whispered as she settled next to him.

"I'm getting there, I really am. It's just taking me awhile. I fell in love with her the moment I met her, if I could have her back even for a day, I'd do anything. To tell her I was sorry, I should have never told her to leave," Tommy whispered as she looked over at him.

"Why did you?" Kim asked as Tommy hung his head. He had known that he might have to tell her this one day.

"She cheated on me when we were in college, from what she told me, she got wasted one night and woke up in another man's bed. Even close to ten years later she sobbed telling me and I told her to get out. I told her that I hated her, that was the last thing I said to the woman I loved with all my heart," Tommy said as she leaned against him and she smiled.

"She still loves you," Kim whispered looking up at him and he fell in love with her even more.

"She's dead, she can't love me," Tommy said as he just shook his head.

"She can, I'm sure of it," Kim whispered before she pressed her lips against his cheek.

"How can you be sure?" Tommy asked as she signed.

"Call it a gut instinct," Kim said as he just smiled.

"You are beautiful and I want us to work, I just don't have much practice with this," Tommy said as Kim just nodded. She would have been in the same situation if the roles had been reversed.

"So do I, but don't rush us, don't make yourself want me more than you really do," Kim said as he smiled.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Tommy whispered as he leaned over to give her a kiss.

"Found you!" Adam yelled as Tommy reluctantly pulled away from Amber and looked over at his son. The boy bounded over to the bed and jumped into Kim's lap.

"Hey Adam, how's your day been?" Kim asked as the boy hugged her.

"Daddy's playing with us," Adam said as Kim looked over at Tommy and smiled.

"I see that, what are you playing?" Kim asked as Tommy stuck his tongue out at her.

"Hide and seek," Adam said as Kim laughed.

"What are you counting to?" Kim asked as Tommy managed to get himself under control and straightened his shirt.

"Fifteen," Adam said as Kim smiled.

"Wow! That's great!" Kim said with a smile as Adam just nodded.

"Come play with us," Adam said as Kim smiled at him, she knew that Tommy was not going to let her.

"Adam, Amber had a rough day yesterday, we're going to let her sleep," Tommy said as he grabbed the boy's hand and Kim smiled.

"Okay," Adam said as he ran out of the door and Tommy gave Kim a quick smile before he headed off after Adam. "Daddy, why were you kissing Amber?"

Kim did not hear the answer, but she did not have to, she knew Tommy was not ready. She was growing tired of not being able to tell him the truth, but she knew why she couldn't. He would think her absolutely batty, now she had another worry. Her eyes had turned brown after that dream, what if that happened with her hair or something else that she could not explain so easily?

She then looked over at the bed and felt her eyes begin to slowly drift closed. She walked over to the bed and then crawled in. In a few minutes she was sound asleep. She thought the sleep would be peaceful, but that turned out to not be the case.

* * *

Kim had her hands tied above her head and was dangling by her wrists over the boiling magma. Her eyes searched the room for Tommy, for anyone at this point. She did not want for this to happen again, she did not want to be forced to turn against them after what had happened on Murianthius.

"Kim!" Tommy yelled as he ran towards her and she managed a smile. "Hold on."

She watched as he headed towards her and then jumped from the side of the pit, catching himself against her body. His weight and momentum made the chain groan and she felt it snap, sending the both of them into the wall.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asked as she grimaced and he began to do his mental once over to make sure she was not lying to him.

"I'm fine Tommy. Why did you do that?" Kim asked as he just smiled at her.

"Because there was no other way out. Kim are you...Kim," Tommy said as he saw her eyes slip out of focus and gently rolled her over to see the blood oozing from her back.


	12. Chapter 12

Tommy sat down in his study as the boys napped. He wanted to get some work done, but he found himself looking at the picture of him and Amber on the desk. The two of them had gone up to Tahoe for the weekend and he couldn't take his eyes off the way that she looked at him. She loved him, but did he love her?

His eyes strayed to the picture of Kim and he sighed. He cared so much for the both of them, but he felt the pull to go back to Amber for the first time and he smiled. He loved her, he really did, but why?

He thought back to the first time she'd whispered his name and started from there. He never told her his name, but she knew it. He actually didn't tell her a lot of things. Adam and Tyler's fears, the fact that the basement was locked from the inside, that there was a basement, that he loved extra garlic on anything and that he was constantly losing his eye drops.

He never told her any of that, but Kim knew it. He hadn't really thought about her ghost leaving, but now that he did he still felt the presence near by.

He stood up and walked through the house attempting to pin point what he felt. He felt himself stumbling to Amber's room and he just stared at the door. He solidly felt his wife's presence, that was it and he knew that she must have for a way, a way to come back.


	13. Chapter 13

"Tommy!" Kim yelled out in her sleep as she felt the cold liquid running down her spine. She was panting in her sleep as she lay cemented to one spot. The dream was taking over and she had no control left.

"Amber, come on Amber, wake up," Tommy said as he saw the blood spreading over the sheets and he knew that he had to talk to her now. He had to tell her what he knew before it was too late.

"Mama?" Adam whispered as Kim jerked awake and immediately fell into Tommy's arms. As he wrapped his arm around her he felt the blood ooze onto his shirt and he sighed. "Amber?"

"Why is this happening?" Kim asked as she shook from the pain that was surging through her body.

"I'm not sure, but you're going to be fine. I'll get you to the doctor," Tommy said as he watched the struggle in her eyes to just stay with him.

"Has this happened to anyone else before?" Kim forced out as he sighed. How could he admit to her that this had happened to Kimberly?

"To Kim," Tommy whispered as she nodded and he just held onto her as Adam ran off to get the phone. This couldn't be happening to her.

* * *

Tommy sat with his head pressed against the side bar of the bed and clutched Amber's hand as she slept. He didn't know why this was happening to her. She was experiencing things that Kim had been through, the things he had grieved for months as she woke up in fright from the returning dreams.

"Tommy..." Kim croaked as she woke up and looked over at him.

"Hey Amber, good to see you waking up. You've been out for awhile," Tommy said in a voice that hid exactly how he felt.

"Don't let me sleep," Kim whispered as she clutched his hand. She knew that she was likely to die if she slept again.

"You need to rest Amber," Tommy said as she just shook her head.

"Please Tommy, I know what's going to happen next," Kim whispered as the tears streamed down her face and he just stared at her.

"What would that be?" Tommy asked as he gave her a concerned look and she just sighed.

"I'll dream that my powers are drained," Kim said as she slumped back in the bed and quickly fell to sleep. Tommy sat in shock as he realized the progression of the dreams, they had gone from Kim's death back, events that had tested everything about them and now she was going to relive the worst moment in their relationship.

"Stop doing this to her," Tommy said to the air as he closed his eyes and prayed that this was the end.

* * *

Jason arrived at the hospital a few hours later to find Tommy sitting in bed with Amber, cradling her against him as her head rolled back and forth. The boys were with Katherine down the hall, he knew that he needed to see how bad it was first.

"What's wrong?" Jason asked as he stood in the doorway and watched Tommy's face carefully. They had known each other long enough that keeping this secret had been nearly impossible.

"She's living through every bad thing that happened to Kimberly," Tommy said as he just held her and Jason could see that he had fallen in love with her again.

"Maybe she has to go through it, for Kim to make her worthy," Jason said as Tommy looked up at him and he knew that that had been the wrong thing to say.

"Worthy for what?" Tommy forced out as Jason decided that he might as well have Tommy mad at him instead of the woman in his arms.

"You love her, don't you?" Jason asked as Tommy looked away from him.

"I think so, but I feel like she's holding something back," Tommy said as Jason nodded. Tommy had to figure this out now, they couldn't lose Kimberly again.

"Like what?" Jason asked as Tommy looked at him.

"She had a family, but doesn't talk about them. She was struck by lightning and has no scars. Her eyes suddenly turn brown, she gets a birthmarks exactly like Kim. What the hell?" Tommy asked as Jason smiled. This was breaking Kim's body, but it was letting Tommy figure out what was going on.

"And if I told you what I know?" Jason asked as Tommy gave him a harsh look.

"What do you mean 'what you know'? Did you have sex with her too?" Tommy asked as Jason just sighed. They were never going to be able to get past that, even if it never was mentioned in front of the others.

"Her soul yes. Her body no," Jason said as Tommy gave him a disgusted look.

"How can you not have had sex with her body?" Tommy asked as Jason laughed.

"I had sex with her when she was nineteen, after a drunk night at a party," Jason said as Tommy just shook his head.

"You were twenty-three and married to Katherine," Tommy said as Jason shook his head no.

"No, I was nineteen, just like her," Jason said with a smile as Tommy shook his head that that could not be possible.

"She was fifteen when you were nineteen," Tommy said as Jason just shook his head.

"Her body and soul were nineteen," Jason said as Tommy just shook his head.

"Stop talking in rhymes," Tommy said as Jason smiled. He was finally getting what was happening.

"I had sex with your wife. I only met this woman a few months ago, but tell me, what drew you to her any way?" Jason asked as Tommy sighed. They both knew what it was, it just depended if Tommy was going to admit it.

"She felt like home, like..." Tommy muttered as his eyes widened. This could not be possible.

"Kim, for a man who fought twenty story monsters for five years, you have a limited imagination about what could bring her back here," Jason said as Tommy just sighed. He should have realized this earlier.

"Greek mythology, lightning? You're serious?" Tommy asked as Jason shrugged. It was all that he could figure out that it might be.

"Did you ever tell her what you like to eat?" Jason asked as Tommy just stood there. "Yet she knows, she really knows you."

"But how did this happen?" Tommy asked as Jason just shook his head. He could not tell him the answer.

"She has to tell you the how and why. I'd get her to before it's too late," Jason said as Tommy looked up at him and he could tell that this was the first time the thought of her dying had come into his mind.

"She can't," Tommy muttered as Jason just nodded.

"She might die again, she might die from the chance that she had to come back, because you haven't said that she is the one person that you love," Jason said as Tommy just shook his head.

"And?" Tommy asked as Jason just shook his head.

"Her soul is breaking this body so that she can be the Kim you love. Do you want her to die because of it?" Jason asked as he walked out of the room and Tommy looked down at the woman in his arms and held her tighter.


	14. Chapter 14

"Amber wake up, please," Tommy whispered as she continued rolling back and forth against him. "Come on Amber, please show me Kimberly."

Her eyes slowly opened and he saw the pain that glazed over them. She looked so tired, so ready to just let go.

"Kim..." Tommy whispered as she managed a smile.

"You finally realized it's me?" Kim asked as he gave her a kiss on the cheek and he watched her just sink into him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tommy asked as he pulled back her sweaty hair and she just stared at him.

"You had to figure it out," Kim said as he leaned down and kissed her and she responded in the way that she always had. It felt so good to have her back, even if she didn't look the same.

"And the kids?" Tommy asked as she smiled up at him.

"They've known since the beginning," Kim said as Tommy just sighed. He should have listened to the kids, but he had just thought that they were latching on to the first woman in their life since Kim had died. That they were trying to keep her alive in someone else.

"But how do I know for sure?" Tommy asked as she smiled. He had never been one to just believe in things, he had to have proof.

"Quiz me," Kim stated as Tommy just nodded.

"Who did you cheat on me with?" Tommy asked and he saw the pain come over her before she answered.

"Jason," Kim whispered in shame and forced herself to look away from him.

"How old were you?" he asked as she shifted away from him.

"Nineteen," Kim stated as she felt his hand move to the small of her back.

"How long did we try to get pregnant before we had Tyler?" Tommy asked as she relaxed, at least he had moved on from the most hurtful stuff.

"We started after we got engaged, so two and a half years, give or take a few days," Kim said as he smiled.

"And Adam?"

"We weren't even trying."

"What belt am I?"

"Sixth degree black belt."

"Anniversary?"

"January fourth."

"My memory?"

"It's been shot to hell since I met you."

"How many kids did we want?"

"You wanted five, I wanted three."

"And now?"

"I'd have as many as you want, as long as I'm with you," Kim said as he gave her a hug and she rested against him.

"And you know I love you?" Tommy said as Kim smiled.

"I do now," Kim whispered as her eyes slumped closed and she settled against his body, over the next thirty minutes he watched as her hair darkened and he realized that it was going back to Amber's true color and when her eyes opened again, he saw the brilliant green that he was now used to.

"You are the only reason I could love," Tommy muttered as his arms wrapped around her tightly.

"Do you forgive me?" Kim asked and he saw that she was on the verge of tears. It did not matter to her that she had come back from the dead, not when there was a doubt about her being forgiven.

"I do now, I did a long time ago actually, but I never thought I'd get the chance to tell you," Tommy said as he leaned down to give her a kiss and she put a finger on his lips.

"It's your chance, our chance. Now when can I get out of here?" Kim asked before she leaned in and gave him a kiss.

"Soon, the doctors were waiting for the fever to break and I'd say that it probably has. You and I have a lot to catch up on. I won't waste another moment," Tommy whispered as she just smiled. She didn't blame him one bit.

"Can I be with my babies first?" Kim asked as he laughed.

"Of course, but let's get you out of here first," Tommy said as she nodded.

"Just treat me the way you used to," Kim said as Tommy smiled.

"Losing you made me learn that I can't hold you to things that happened so long ago, I can't anymore," Tommy said as he nuzzled her neck and she laughed.

"I'm glad, I had almost gotten used to this again," Kim said as he nodded.

"Me calling you Amber," Tommy said as he dodged her playful swat at him and laughed.

"No, you loving me the way you always have," Kim said as he sobered up and held her tight.

"Until that night?" Tommy asked as he looked down and she looked away from him.

"Can we never talk about..." Kim trailed off as he looked away.

"Yeah, I think we can do that. I know I can't take it much more," Tommy said as she just nodded.

"I know you might not want to have any more children..." Kim started as he just shook his head.

"I'll always want children with you," Tommy said he leaned down and gave her another kiss.


	15. Chapter 15

Kim sat on the couch the next day and watched as Adam and Tyler played on the floor in front of her. Tommy sat in the kitchen working on some papers that his senior students had turned in. He had managed to get another day off to help her recover, but it was actually just so they could be together as a family.

"Tommy can you come in here for a moment?" Kim yelled as he pushed himself away from the table and went to the door between the kitchen and living room.

"What is it, love?" Tommy asked as she looked back at him and he saw how tired she looked.

"I'm not feeling too good," Kim said as he sighed.

"Kim..." Tommy started as she looked over at him and saw that he was worried.

"I'm just dizzy," Kim said as he sat down next to her and he put his arm around her.

"You've been like that a lot lately," Tommy said as he pulled her up. "Come on, to bed with you."

"Tommy please..." Kim began as he placed a finger over her lips.

"Bed Kim, your body is not taking this well, I want you to have enough energy tonight to tell the others," Tommy said as Kim just nodded.

"Do you think they'll believe me?" Kim asked as he just shrugged.

"I don't know, but I believe you, that's all we need," Tommy said as he hugged her again.

"That and a few more children running around here would always be nice," Kim said as he smiled and then nodded towards the bedroom.

"We'll work on children tomorrow, now off to bed please," Tommy said as she just nodded.

"I didn't think you'd ever remember the please," Kim said as she headed off towards the bedroom.

"You missy are getting on my nerves. You need to remember to respect your elders," Tommy said as he heard her laughter from the hallway.

"Of course Thomas, I'll go rest," Kim said as he cringed.

"I'm acting like your father, aren't I?" Tommy asked as he headed to the end of the hall so that he could see her reaction.

"No, you're acting like a worried husband, who suddenly realized I am not quite the woman I used to be," Kim said as Tommy shook his head.

"I think I realized that a couple of days ago," Tommy said as he took a few steps towards her.

"I'm just glad that you didn't have to lose me again to realize it," Kim said as he just nodded. "I'll go lay down now."

"All right," Tommy said as he watched her walk into their room and he smiled.

* * *

Tommy walked down the hall and peeked into their bedroom, she was sprawled out in the middle of the bed and he smiled. She always too up more than half of the bed and he just dealt with his twelve inches of space, by hugging her to him. He had missed that the most. He could have a horrible day, but when he came home and held her, everything moved into focus everything was all right.

"Tommy..." Kim murmured as she noticed him staring at her.

"Yes?" Tommy responded, feeling a little guilty for watching her like this.

"You okay?" Kim asked as he took a reluctant step inside.

"Yeah, I'm just remembering what I've missed," Tommy said as he took a step back and looked at her.

"If you're putting the kids down for a nap you can come sleep too," Kim said as he took in a deep breath.

"If I lay down with you, it won't be to sleep," Tommy said as she gave him a smile.

"Just come to bed," Kim stated as he closed the door and then walked back down the hall to put the boys down for their nap.

Kim stood up and walked over to her drawer and pulled out Tommy's favorite nighty from the drawer. She may not be in her old body, but he still loved her, no matter what. She pulled on the white gown and looked down to see that it barely covered the things that it used to. She laughed and then climbed back into bed. She wanted Tommy to enjoy this.

"You look..." Tommy muttered as she gave him a smile. He could care less that she had a different body, it was his wife. He would treat her the same way as he had before, maybe in a more precious way.

"You don't need to talk, just show me," Kim whispered as she watched him close the door behind him and lock it. He then walked over the bed as a dark shadow fell over his eyes.

Tommy pushed off his shoes and then crawled into bed with her. His lips slowly pressed against hers as she reached for his belt and he quickly grabbed her hands. He wanted this to be like their first time. He wanted her to see that she could turn back at any time, not that she would want to.  
Kim then moved her hands and ran them over his shirt before she started tugging at it before finally getting access to his skin. She felt his muscles tighten and she looked up at him. She knew that concentration, she knew he was holding back to please her.

"Don't hold back, love me," Kim muttered as she felt his hand tug off the gown and the cool air hit her skin. She desperately wanted him out of his clothing as well, but knew he wanted to do this for her first. She watched as he crawled down her body and she shivered. Tommy gently probed at her core and then looked up at her in shock. They both felt the barrier and Kim just nodded for him to continue.

He then lowered his head and she gripped the sheets. She knew what he was doing, he had done it their first time, it helped, so much. He was going to patiently do the same thing. Her body began reacting violently to his minstrations. He watched her carefully and stopped a moment before she came.

He slowly moved up over her and she stared at him with glazed eyes. He gently guided her hands to his belt and watched as she hungrily pulled, pushed and ripped his clothes off. He could not remember the last time he had seen that much passion in her eyes. So much wanting, so much love.  
Kim felt as Tommy began to pay attention to other parts of her body and her mind started floating away.

"Tell me you want this," Tommy said as he stopped himself a moment before they couldn't take this back.

"Why?" Kim asked as she tired to make him continue.

"Please tell me that you want me," Tommy whispered as she lazily smiled at him.

"Only you Tommy, only you," Kim muttered as she pulled him down to kiss her and they lost themselves.


	16. Chapter 16

Trini paced outside of Tommy's door and looked around. She was not sure that she should be doing this, but she had enough guilt on her to last a lifetime. She had been the one that had pressured Kimberly into telling Tommy everything that had happened. She was the one that had truly caused Kimberly's death. She might not have been willing to tell Tommy about this at the moment, but she was more than willing to tell him about it now. She had to relieve her own guilt about what had happened to her best friend.

"Trini, what are you doing here?" Tommy asked as he opened up the door and looked down at her. "Something wrong?"

"There's something I need to tell you," Trini said as Amber peaked out from behind Tommy as she tied the robe a bit tighter around herself. "Just you."

"Amber, you mind taking the kids outside for a bit?" Tommy asked as Amber just nodded her head that she would and grabbed the two boys from the living room. "What's going on?"

"I don't know where to start," Trini said as she sat down on the couch and Tommy sat down across from her and she sighed. She thought that she had figured out what she was going to say, but saying it was much harder than she expected.

"The beginning is always a good place," Tommy said as Trini sighed and looked away from him.

"I know what Kimberly and Jason did," Trini stated as Tommy looked over at her and she gulped. She did not want to see the disappointment in his eyes. "I tried to ignore it, I didn't tell anyone about it, I didn't even talk to either of them about it, not until…not until right before…"

"Before I told him," Amber said as she walked into the living room and looked over at Trini as she stared over at her. "Hi Trini."

"What did you tell him?" Trini asked as Amber looked over at Tommy and he smiled at her as he gulped. He knew that Trini was going to have a very hard time accepting this, but he knew that he would have to explain it to her.

"That she cheated on me," Tommy said as Trini looked over at Tommy in complete confusion. Why was he still with this woman if she had cheated on him as well? "With Jason."

"She doesn't even know Jason. She doesn't know any of us," Trini said as Tommy shook his head and looked up at Amber, as she peaked out the back door to check on the boys.

"I do, I know a lot more than you probably want to hear," Amber said as she chuckled. "I can't believe it took you this long to feel guilty enough about what happened. I thought you would have told Tommy a long time ago."

"It took years of guilt for me to even talk to Kimberly about it," Trini said as Amber nodded as she looked over at her. "I couldn't believe what happened though. I was, I never thought that Tommy would react like this."

"React like what?" Tommy asked as Amber looked over at him and she could see exactly the way that Trini was heading with this conversation. "Trini, what happened was an accident."

"No, it wasn't," Trini said as Amber and Tommy exchanged a glance. "I may be the only one that really knows what happened here that night."

"Trini, stop," Amber said as she moved over in front of her and took her hands. "He did not kill me, I really did trip and fall."

"You? He just met you three months ago," Trini said as Amber lifted an eyebrow and looked into Trini's eyes. "He wouldn't have told you how Kimberly died."

"You're right, I already knew how I died," Amber said as Trini shook her head in confusion. "I died after I told my husband that I had cheated on him, with his best friend. I died at the bottom of those stairs, trying to pull myself back up, hoping Tommy had heard me. He hadn't, he did not know."

"How do you know that?" Trini asked as Amber wiped her eyes and looked up at Tommy as he barely nodded. He knew that all of their friends would eventually have to know, it had to start somewhere.

"Because I'm Kimberly, I'm just in a different shell." Amber said as Trini shook her head as she backed away from her and looked over at Tommy to see if he would deny this, but he was not interested in looking at the situation. "Trini, my death, is not your fault."

"How can it not be?" Trini asked as Amber sighed and looked over at Tommy as she smiled. "You would have never…"

"You're right, I probably would have never said a word to Tommy about it, but you were also right that he deserved to know. What I did was not fair to him and I don't know if the guilt would have ever really gotten to me, because I buried it so deep. I convinced myself that it hadn't really happened, I'm sure that Jason did the same thing, but Jason wasn't with anyone. The only person he betrayed, was Tommy. I hurt both of them that night," Amber said as the boys ran in and Tommy quickly ushered them upstairs to the playroom. They did not need to hear this.

"How did you…" Trini trailed off as Amber smiled at her and then looked over at Tommy.

"Amber got struck by lightning and well…her soul wanted to move on, mine wanted to stay," Amber said as Trini looked over at her and just shook her head.

"What do I call you?" Trini asked as Amber looked back at Tommy. "Because technically…"

"My driver's license says that I am Amber Renee Corley. He can't exactly marry a woman that is already dead," Amber said as Trini just stared at her in complete and utter shock. "Not that we've really decided to get married again, we haven't really talked about that yet."

"So, he didn't shove you down the set of stairs?" Trini asked as Amber and Tommy shook their heads no and she nodded as she let out a sigh. "I'm glad to hear that."

"You didn't really think that I would ever get that mad about something?" Tommy asked as Trini gave him a guilty look and she then looked down at the floor. "It's okay, Trini- I was really mad. I was more hurt than anything else though."

"So, are the two of you…"Trini trailed off as Tommy smiled over at her and Amber scratched the back of her head.

"Are we what?" Tommy asked as Trini blushed furiously and Amber laughed as she stood up to go upstairs.

"Back in the saddle?" Amber asked as Trini just nodded. "We're fine Trini, I wouldn't worry about that area."

"Good," Trini said as she stood up. "I should probably be going."

"Trini…" Tommy said as he followed her out towards the door and she stopped on the porch. "I'm not mad about what you did or what you thought."

"Thanks," Trini whispered as she gave him a hug and he pulled her in tight. "I'm really…really sorry."

"Aren't we all?" Tommy asked as she looked up at him and saw the sad smile in his eyes. The woman that had his wife's soul, was not the woman he had originally fallen in love with. He had come to recognize that the outside did not matter to him at all, but he was supposed to have years with her, many more than what they had originally gotten.

AN: Whew! I know...I know- yell at me for the year+ wait if you must- I would be yelling at me too if I was a reader.

AN 2: Just to clarify for people- Amber/Kimberly is still the same person, but for the purposes of continuity Amber/Kimberly will be called Amber, for the most part, from this point forward. There is some reasoning behind that and that will become a bit clearer, I hope later on.


	17. Chapter 17

Amber rolled over the next morning and felt Tommy's arms settle around her in a tight embrace. He slowly ran his fingers over her stomach and she smiled. Ever since she had been in the hospital, she had felt more at home in this body and far less like a visitor. Many things had changed and she still felt the nagging feeling, at times, that this was not the body that she was meant to be in. Her body, however, had settled in to allowing her soul to reside there. She just hoped that one day things would feel like they should again.

"Morning," Tommy muttered as he kissed her neck and they both were surprised at the moan it elicited. "You never…"

"My body is different now," Amber said as Tommy just nodded as she took in a couple deep breaths, but still felt the heat running through her body. "God Tommy…why'd you…"

"I didn't know," Tommy whispered as she rolled around in his arms and pushed him back. "What…"

"She starved herself of a lot, I can feel it," Amber said as Tommy looked up at her and she placed her hands squarely on his chest. "No more starving ourselves."

"Of course not," Tommy whispered as he took a glance over at the clock and chuckled. He was definitely going to be going in late to work today.

* * *

Amber walked down the aisle of the grocery store with Adam and Tyler in tow. The two boys were running at various intervals in front of her and she just shook her head. She knew that she should wrangle the both of them into the grocery cart, but right now she was more preoccupied with getting everything they would need for the next week.

"Amber! Amber! How are you?" a lady asked as Amber stopped in her tracks and looked at the woman, trying to place her. It was then that she knew that she was from her previous life or more accurately, her life before Kimberly.

"Mom!" Adam yelled as he charged down the aisle towards her and she scooped him up quickly into her arms.

"Mom?" the lady asked as Amber looked over at her and smiled. "I'm sorry, I didn't even know you had had children."

"I haven't, they're my boyfriend's," Amber said as Adam looked over at her and glared up at her. She knew that the boys didn't really understand why Tommy called her Amber and why other people called her that as well.

"Your boyfriend? Jake?" the lady asked as Amber shook her head no. "Then who are you dating?"

"Tommy Oliver," Amber supplied as she just stared at her. "What?"

"The man…the man who's wife died a year or so ago?" the lady asked as Amber just nodded and she watched the woman stare at her in complete shock. "I never really thought you'd pity date someone."

"It's not pity," Amber said as Tyler had walked up to her and placed his arms around her legs. "He's a good guy."

"I'm sure that is the only reason you are interested," she said as Amber narrowed her eyes and then let out a sigh. "Well, it was good to see you Amber, I really should be going."

"Good to see you too," Amber said as she placed Adam in the buggy and then grabbed Tyler by the hand. "Come on guys, let's get going."

"Mama…why did she…" Tyler trailed off as Amber smiled down at him and rumpled his hair.

"Don't worry about it Ty," Amber said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek and then quickly finished her shopping. She had known that this day would come, but she had hoped that it would be a bit later, when she had had a chance to chop off her locks of hair and dye it.

* * *

"Jake, I know it's been awhile, but can you please give me a call," Amber's voice said as Jake looked down at his phone and was shocked. It had been a very long time since he had heard from her and he was not sure that he wanted to see her. He could not really believe that she had completely forgotten so much.

"Hello," Amber said as she picked up her cell phone and gave Tommy a worried look from her side of the bed.

"Hey, how have you been?" Jake asked as he heard the male sigh in the background and he forced himself to keep his voice even.

"Pretty good, we need…we need to talk though," Amber said as Jake looked at the phone and scoffed. If she had needed to talk to him, she could have called long before now. "Please."

"Okay, but I want this to be on my terms," Jake said as Amber just nodded. "Day trip?"

"Sure, as long as it is this weekend that should be fine," Amber said as Jake chuckled. He'd drop just about anything for her, even if she hadn't talked to him in such a long time.

"Be ready by eight Saturday," Jake said as she looked down at Tommy and swatted away his hand.

"Absolutely, thanks Jake," Amber said as they both hung up and she leaned back in bed.

"How are you going to tell him?" Tommy asked as Amber just shook her head. She was not exactly sure how she was going to do that. She wished that she knew the answer. "You're going to have to."

"I know, but I don't really know him all that well…Amber did," Amber said as she closed her eyes and the tears flowed. "How do you tell someone that cared about you that you know nothing about them? That you…"

"Amber…Amber, calm down," Tommy whispered as he wiped away the tears and gave her a tight hug. "We'll get through this."

"How?" Amber asked and Tommy found himself stunned into silence. That was one of those simple questions that he had absolutely no answer for. He knew that he loved her, he knew just how much all of this hurt her and he had no clue how they were going to really work their way through all of this. How did she just meld into being another person, without losing some of the woman that he loved?

AN: Please go back and read the previous chapter, there is a MAJOR change in how the story line is going to work out, so please, just go back and read it, so this won't be too confusing, I hope.


	18. Chapter 18

Jake pulled up to the house and took in the grandeur of it. Whoever Dr. Oliver was, he was most definitely going to be able to thoroughly provide for Amber in the future. That being said, that was not the most important thing that he could think of right now. He wanted the chance that he had never gotten with her, for as long as he had been friends with her, he had been certain that he loved her. Now, he was fairly sure he was going to have to watch her marry another man, again.

"You okay?" Tommy asked as he watched her fiddle with the edge of her shirt and she barely shook her head no. "Amber, you'll be fine."

"See you tonight," Amber whispered as she leaned up and gave him a kiss before heading out towards the car. She saw Jake wave at Tommy and she could feel the discomfort from the both of them. It would be suffice to say that neither of them were particularly happy with this situation, but they were both wise enough to keep their mouths shut. "So, where are we going?"

"You'll see," Jake said as she climbed into the passenger's seat and he backed out of the driveway and she looked over at him. "Relax Amber, I'm not going to kidnap you."

"You don't want to meet him?" Amber asked as she saw him force a smile and look away from her. "Jake…"

"No, I don't," Jake stated as he saw the hurt in her eyes and she gulped as she hurriedly wiped at her eyes. "Can you just tell me why I never got a chance?"

"Why you…what?" Amber asked as she looked over at him and she felt the pain hit her, pain that she was fairly certain did not come from the soul that inhabited this body. "Are you serious? Why didn't you say something?"

"There was never a good time," Jake admitted as Amber closed her eyes and she tried to rationalize this. She could not help that she loved her husband, the man that she had not moved on for. She, however, knew that she could not tell him that. There was absolutely no way to explain this until he understood what had really happened. "And then, I finally tell you and you forget it all the next day."

"Jake, I can't help what I forgot and I…I…" Amber trailed off as he smiled and gently took her hand in his.

"Now you know why I don't want to meet him," Jake stated as she barely nodded. "I don't want to spend all of today focusing on that. I know that you aren't, you aren't interested."

Amber slipped into a quiet train of thought as she watched the road pass by and tried to focus on where they might be going. She could not pretend that she knew anything about Jake that would help her figure it out. She knew that she would have to tell him everything, but after the bombshell that he had just dropped she had no clue how she would possibly do that. Soon after these thoughts crossed her mind, she felt herself falling asleep and she slipped into a very comfortable position, propped up against Jake's side.

* * *

"You can wake up now," Jake whispered as Amber slowly stirred and she snuggled in closer to his side and he sighed.

"Where are we?" Amber asked as she sat up and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She looked around and wondered exactly where they were, figuring that it was some place that was fairly important.

"Venice Beach," Jake said as Amber just shook her head. She had never been to this sort of place before, but she could tell that Jake hoped she remembered something. "Come on, there's someone I want you to see."

"I'm really no good at surprises, you should know that by now," Amber said as Jake just nodded. That was one thing that had not changed from before, at least he could be happy for that.

"Just trust me," Jake said as he put his arm around her and he felt her tense but left it there. Right now he needed to figure out just how much had really changed between the two of them.

"I do, everything is just, it's just so odd," Amber admitted as he chuckled and lead her down the crowded streets into an odd sort of tent. She looked around at the random objects and noticed the word 'psychic' on the wall. She looked over at Jake and saw that he had a smile on his face. "Seriously?"

"Why not? Maybe she'll be able to unblock whatever it is that is causing you to forget the past," Jake said as Amber gulped. She could not forget the past, she would never be able to forget everything that had happened to her. She just hoped that, in time, things would become more seamless and that she would be able to move on with her life. She did not know if going to a psychic would really help.

"Hello, Mrs. Oliver," Clarissa said as Amber sat down in front of her and she could see the shock in her eyes. "Well, you most certainly are a conundrum, aren't you?"

"My name is Amber," Amber said as Clarissa chuckled and Jake looked over at them.

"I'm so sorry, but the woman you loved is no longer here," Clarissa said as she faced Jake and he gave her a confused look. "How long has it been?"

"A few months," Amber admitted as Clarissa nodded her head as she reached over for her hand and took it in hers. Amber looked down at her hands and shook her head. "I'm sorry about the lies."

"You don't need to apologize to me, you don't even need to apologize to him or your husband or your children. The hell you have been through is payment enough for what has happened," Clarissa said as Amber began crying and she gave her hand a squeeze. "You were going to tell him, weren't you?"

"Yeah, after I figured out how…I didn't know how. How do you tell someone that their friend wanted to move on and I just wanted to stay with my family?" Amber asked as Clarissa just shook her head as she looked over at Jake and saw the clarity in his eyes.

"I think you just did that," Clarissa said as Amber buried her face in her hands and wept. She knew just how much Jake deserved a chance with Amber, but he was never going to get that chance. There was no way that she could give that chance to him. "Mrs. Oliver…"

"Stop calling her that!" Jake yelled as Amber looked away from him and Clarissa gave him a calm look. She had seen this type of reaction before, although she had to admit that this was an unique situation. "Her name is Amber Corley."

"That maybe what her birth certificate says, but it is not the truth anymore. Mrs. Oliver is much more accurate and far less damaging to the both of you. Would you rather me call her Kimberly? At least she will soon have the last name of Oliver," Clarissa said as she looked over at Jake. "Do not hate her."

"Why shouldn't I?" Jake asked as Amber looked up at him and he saw the heartbroken look in her eyes.

"Because Amber really did care about you, but she…she didn't want to be without her husband and my husband, the man I loved, was falling to pieces without me. She gave me this opportunity and I…how could I not go out and live the life I should have had?" Amber asked as she looked away from him. "Do you have any idea what that pain is like?"

"Amber…" Jake started as she just shook her head and Clarissa held up her hand.

"She wants to talk to you," Clarissa said as Amber sat back in her chair and she sighed. "Jake, they both want you to be happy and she wants you to understand that the love she felt for you, how much she cared for you- it's not that it was not enough. She just wanted her husband more."

"So I wasn't enough to keep her here?" Jake asked as Amber let out a sigh and Clarissa just shook her head.

"She's with the man she loves and so is she," Clarissa said as she motioned across the table and Amber wiped her eyes. "I can't make it any clearer."

"Amber?" Jake whispered as she looked up at him and just shook her head. "I thought…"

"You didn't think this would happen," Amber said as she gulped in a breath of air. "I just want to go home, please."

"Okay," Jake said as he helped her up and he looked back at Clarissa.

"Come back any time you want to talk to her, she's always hanging around," Clarissa said as Jake barely nodded as he put his arm around Amber and pulled her in tight. "I wish that that would have been easier."


	19. Chapter 19

"Amber…hey, what's wrong?" Tommy asked as Jake helped her inside and she fell into his arms as she cried on his shoulder. She had held it together while they were riding back, but just barely. "Amber…"

"Hi," Jake said as Tommy awkwardly shook his hand as he focused in the sobbing woman in his arms. He wanted to be furious with Jake, but his concern for his girlfriend outweighed his need to get answers from the man. "How long have you known?"

"That she was my wife?" Tommy asked as Jake just nodded and he was quieted as Amber kissed him and he allowed himself to be pulled into that moment before she pulled away from him and just clung to his chest. "For a bit."

"I'm sorry," Jake said as Amber pulled back from Tommy and she then turned to look at him. "I'll never…"

"Jake, I have to learn how to live in this body, as this person, as someone that I never was," Amber said as he rolled his eyes. That sounded absolutely crazy, even with the things that he had recently found out. There was no way that she was going to be able to learn all of those things. "My family can't just leave this place and people, some people know Amber here. I had a conversation in a grocery store with a woman that I don't even know, who told me I was giving him a pity relationship. All I know is how I would respond- I don't know how Amber would have."

"You're asking me to teach you to be Amber?" Jake asked as Tommy gulped. He knew just how risky that idea was, but he also understood how important it would be to do that. There were bound to be people in Reefside that knew her before this incident. "I don't know how I could do that."

"Maybe not that, so much as being willing to help me with some things at times. You know, when people expect me to be at some event or for who I would invite to my wedding and such- I can't just abandon everyone I knew," Amber said as Jake smiled over at her as he gave her a hug.

"You don't really have to worry about that. You were pretty much abandoned by everybody after Garrett died," Jake said as Amber gave him a shocked look. "Only a few people hung around. You had been through so much tragedy already and, well…a lot of people just gave up."

"Seriously?" Amber asked as Jake just nodded and she looked back at Tommy.

"I think it was easier for a lot of people, so that they would not have to think about…about it all," Jake said as Amber just shook her head as Tommy wrapped his arms around her. "But I'll help you where I can- I owe that much to my friend."

"I'm sorry about this," Amber said as Jake forced a smile and looked over at her, settled in the arms of another man. He knew that this was something he would never get used to, but there was no way that she was going to walk away from him.

"So am I," Jake said as he shook Tommy's hand again and headed towards the door. "Call- any time that you need me, I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

"It works both ways Jake, if you need help with something…" Amber trailed off as Jake just shook his head. He was not sure that she would be able to help him with the things that he needed the most. He didn't really know if he would ever be able to move on, but he was going to have to try to do that.

"She told you all of that?" Tommy asked as Amber explained the events from earlier to him and he just shook his head. He could not believe that the woman had been able to see through so many things, without the slightest problem. He was a true believer that all psychics were quacks, not that there were some people that actually possessed this distinct talent.

"Yeah, I had a hard time believing it," Amber said as she turned around to face him, carefully moving Adam and Ty to more comfortable positions. The boys were draped over the two of them and she could begin to feel"I can feel things changing though."

"How?" Tommy asked as the boys snuggled in next to him and he pulled Amber over and across his chest. It was hard to have her further than arms length away and difficult to believe that she had been gone for so long.

"Some things about the past, when I was in my other body, they're starting to seem fuzzy," Amber said as Tommy gently ran his fingers over her scalp and she sighed. "That feels good."

"Hasn't changed," Tommy muttered as she let out a quiet laugh and snuggled in closer to him. "We do have a lot to talk about- how long do you really want to wait for marriage?"

"I think…I think that the others should know first. It isn't exactly going to be easy for most of them to get used to that or the fact that you are going to get married," Amber said as Tommy nodded. He had already considered just how badly the rangers might take this. "I know this may sound crazy…but what ring…"

"I buried…they went with you," Tommy said as he looked down at his wedding band and forced a smile. "I couldn't take it off though. I didn't know how to."

"Are you…are you going to get a different one?" Amber asked as she reached down and played with the ring on his left hand. She had a hard time believing that Tommy would be able to take that ring off any time soon. "We don't have to talk about it."

"Do you want me to?" Tommy asked as Amber shrugged and he gave her a long look. "I probably should though, shouldn't I?"

"It's really up to you, but I'm sure that some people will not appreciate it. Especially those that knew…know me," Amber said as Tommy slowly pulled the ring off and handed it over to her. "Tommy…Tommy please don't."

"It belongs to you. I really shouldn't continue wearing it, considering…" Tommy trailed off as he looked down at the children and then back over at her. "Maybe we should get them to bed."

"You mind taking them up? I just need a few minutes…" Amber trailed off as Tommy barely nodded as he lifted Adam up in one arm and Amber carefully placed Tyler in his other arm.

"You'll be up in a bit?" Tommy asked as Amber barely nodded her head and she leaned back against the couch. She had had a very long day and she knew that things were going to be extremely rough over the next few weeks. She knew that Tommy was not going to change and that this relationship was going to work, she just worried that people were not going to accept the truth. She was going to have to tell all of them everything and that really worried her- much more than anything else.


End file.
